8 silly things men do during sex that leads to pregnancy

8 silly things men do during sex that leads to pregnancy

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Posted by Vade (M) » 09 Feb,2016 @ 12:27:10

Not every pregnancy is planned. In fact, I’m
inclined to believe that so many of us came
about by accidental discharge, following the
way we behave these days. Even amongst
married folks who are licensed to have S ex,
we hear horror stories of unplanned
pregnancies. No wonder abortion clinics are
popping out just about everywhere. People
seem not to care about safe Se x or
understand the simple meaning of
contraception.
Well, I’m not here to educate you on that.
You can check your local community health
care center for proper information. My job
here is to let you in on what happens when
someone comes and tells you that they got
accidentally pregnant..
I will not blame the female folk today until
next time. Guys are going to get the heat
for this one.
Here are 8 times men get stupid during S ex
and produce an offspring.
1. “I Pull Out Before I Shoot Out’
Didn’t they tell you that your pre-cum has
enough sperm from your last wank session
to father a child? Oh okay, you pee in-
between sessions. Nice move. But you can’t
honestly tell me that there weren’t a few
slip-ups in all your pull out encounters. You
and I know that the sweetest part is when
you offload all your goods in the right
warehouse. So stop applauding yourself for
staining the sheets. And just a little
reminder, someone in the bible days died
because of this type of thing.
2. ‘It’s The Woman’s Responsibility To
Handle Contraception’
This is how so many clueless men have
been lied to. She tells you she’s on the pill
or that she’ll pop some after and you
believe and go in without protection. This
same babe will come back a month later
and tell you the pill(s) didn’t work. Dude,
never believe any of that nonsense a
woman says before Se x. Always have
yourself locked and loaded.
3. ‘I Tear Open The Cond0m Package
With My Teeth’
It’s good to get the mouth, and sometimes
even the teeth involved during Se x but
please, use your fingers to tear open the
cond0m package. Why? To avoid poking a
hole into the cond0m, stupid. The only hole
you should be poking should be… never
mind. The wise ones understand what I’m
talking about.
4. Putting On Or Taking Off The Cond0m
During Se x
Okay, seriously I don’t get this part. You
start having Se x then halfway, for whatever
reason, you say ‘oops! sorry, I forgot to use
a cond0m’ and then you put one on. Have
you heard of pre-cum? Obviously not.
Google it. Then for those of you who decide
‘this cond0m thing is killing my vibe’ and
decide to remove it halfway, please go for
quality stuff next time or learn how to wear
on a cond0m correctly or just get married
and stay faithful mbok.
5. ‘We Had S^ x During Her Period’
First of all…eww! Second, don’t deceive
yourself. Women have and can get pregnant
during their periods. Some medical
practitioners will not agree to this but
others will. It has been found that some
women ovulate when they are
menstruating, so next time while dipping
into the Red Sea, be sure to use a life jacket.
If you go releasing your little swimmers
with no protection, one of them is bound to
swim upstream and catch something you’re
not prepared for.
6. I’ve Had The Cond0m For Three Years
My dear brother, I know it’s a quality brand
product and probably cost you a few
hundred naira and you’re saving it for prime
V, or just maybe you haven’t been laid in a
long time; but it’s no reason for you to leave
it in your wallet until it either expires or
becomes useless. Use it when it’s still good
or throw it away.
7. ‘I Like My Cond0m Tight’
And so you push your pen is all in to fill the
cond0m tip. Bros, unless your pen is is
shaped exactly like a cond0m, please desist
from tightening things in there. You have to
leave that space for the spill. If you don’t,
the cond0m will break. I’m tempted to say
it’s not ‘rocket’ science but erm…
8. ‘We Had S ex While Standing’
First of all, buhahahahaha! For real? So, let
me understand the logic. You did it while
standing and all of the semen spilled to the
floor and none was left in her. Hmmm… In
physics, following the law of gravity, it
makes sense. But not in biology, which may
have a law somewhere that states ‘what
goes in, stays in’. You should know that the
virginal is one place that may not have a
door but has a way of keeping things in. Be
Warned!
Basically, just don’t be stupid during S ex.
Protect yourself and your woman. Use a
cond0m.
.
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