COMMON PROBLEMS ENCOUNTERED IN RELATIONSHIPS AND HOW TO SOLVE THEM

COMMON PROBLEMS ENCOUNTERED IN RELATIONSHIPS AND HOW TO SOLVE THEM

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Posted by Rajah (M) » 07 Apr,2016

Often times in relationships, lovers go into
puzzling circumstances and difficulties that
sometimes end them breaking-up or divorcing.
These are problems that threatens our
relationships and they are killing us, but the
good news is that we can solve them. I
presume that the reason why you’re in a
relationship with him or her is because you love
something about that person and if this love
still exist, you’ll always learn tolerate.
In this article, I’ll not just tell you about these
problems but I’ll also tell you about how you
can solve them.
HERE ARE THE MOST COMMON PROBLEMS
LOVERS DO HAVE AND HOW TO SOLVE THEM
Problem #1: TRUST.
Trust is my number one problem on the list
because it plays a vital role in every
relationship. As a partner, if you see your lover
going contrary to some certain promises made
by him/her, from that moment the trust you
had for them depreciates with little percent and
this will become a problem if not resolved
maturely.
POSSIBLE SOLUTIONS:
— Always try to be consistent.
— Try being on time.
— Do what you say you will do.
— Don’t lie — not even little white lies to your
partner or to others.
— Be fair, even in an argument.
— Be sensitive to the other’s feelings. You can
still disagree, but don’t discount how your
partner is feeling.
— Call when you say you will.
— Call to say you’ll be home late.
— Don’t over-react when things go wrong.
— Never say things you can’t take back.
— Don’t dig up old wounds.
— Respect your partner’s boundaries.
— Don’t be jealous.
— Be a good listener.
Problem #2: COMMUNICATION
So many relationship problems are as a result
of poor communication. “You can’t
communicate while you’re checking your phone,
browsing, chatting or watching TV.” It becomes
a problem when your partner is serious and
you’re doing something else OR you speak
outrageously to your partner.
POSSIBLE SOLUTIONS:
— If you can’t “communicate” without raising
your voices, go to a public spot like the library,
park, or restaurant where you’d be embarrassed
if anyone saw you screaming.
— Set up some rules. Try not to interrupt until
your partner is through speaking, or ban phrases
such as “You always …”, “You caused …” or
“You never ….”
— Use body language to show you’re listening.
Don’t doodle, look at your watch, or pick at your
nails. Nod so the other person knows you’re
getting the message, and rephrase if you need
to.
— Stop doing things that will interrupt your
communication. Learn to be polite with your
words and also learn good communication skills.
Problem #3: SEX
Yes, Sex! There are some partners that face
this problem often. The problem is that; while
sex brings us closer together, releases
hormones that help our bodies both physically
and mentally, and keeps the chemistry of a
healthy couple healthy, some partners take it
as an addiction and others don’t like giving in
their mind for it and this troubles your partner
in one way or the other, and it’s affecting your
relationship. Another point is that sometimes
one partner won’t be interested that moment
while the other is dying for it. It becomes a
problem.
POSSIBLE SOLUTIONS:
— Understand yourselves
— Plan special moments, but not necessarily at
night when everyone is tired.
— When sex is on the calendar, it increases your
anticipation.
— Changing things up a bit can make sex more
fun too, in the case of one partner not being
interested at a particular moment. Why not lure
him/her to have sex in the kitchen? Or other
funny area? Fun!
— Learn what truly turns you and your partner on
by each of you coming up with a personal “Sexy
List,”. Swap the lists and use them to create
more scenarios that turn you both on.
— If your sexual relationship problems can’t be
resolved on your own, I recommend consulting a
qualified sex therapist to help you both address
and resolve your issues.
Problem #4: MONEY
Hmmm, relationship and money. Money is
actually a problem in many relationships and
homes. It’s either the both partners don’t have
enough money to take care of their needs or
one partner is denying the other partner money
and this is not really cool.
POSSIBLE SOLUTIONS:
— Be honest about your current financial
situation.
— Don’t approach the subject in the heat of
battle. Instead, set aside a time that is
convenient and non-threatening for both of you.
— Acknowledge that one partner may be a saver
and one a spender, understand there are benefits
to both, and agree to learn from each other’s
tendencies.
— Don’t hide income or debt. Bring financial
documents, including a recent credit report, pay
stubs, bank statements, insurance policies,
debts, and investments to the table.
— Don’t blame.
– Construct a joint budget that includes savings.
— Decide which person will be responsible for
paying the monthly bills.
— Allow each person to have independence by
setting aside money to be spent at his or her
discretion.
Problem #5: CONFLICT
Quarrels and disagreement are normal things
that happen in a relationship between both
partners. It’s just a part of life. It’s true that if
you don’t disagree you won’t agree, and that’s
where the conflict comes. Come on, you’ve
grown, it’s time you learn how to tolerate.
POSSIBLE SOLUTIONS:
— You and your partner should learn to argue in
a more civil, helpful manner.
— Realize you are not a victim. It is your choice
whether you react and how you react.
— Be honest with yourself. When you’re in the
midst of an argument, are your comments
geared toward resolving the conflict, or are you
looking for payback? If your comments are
blaming and hurtful, it’s best to take a deep
breath and change your strategy.
— Change it up. If you continue to respond in
the way that’s brought you pain and
unhappiness in the past, you can’t expect a
different result this time. Just one little shift can
make a big difference. If you usually jump right
in to defend yourself before your partner
finished speaking, hold off for a few moments.
You’ll be surprised at how such a small shift in
tempo can change the whole tone of an
argument.
— Give a little; get a lot. Apologize when you’re
wrong. Sure it’s tough, but just try it and watch
something wonderful happen.
Problem #6: NOT MAKING YOUR
RELATIONSHIP A PRIORITY
It’s actually a problem because some partners
failed to understand relationship ethics before
going in. When lovers don’t take things about
their relationship for granted, it shows they
respect their affair. No matter the
circumstance or condition you find yourself in a
relationship, always make sure you respect your
affair.
POSSIBLE SOLUTIONS:
— If you both are married, do the things you
used to do when you were first dating: Show
appreciation, compliment each other, contact
each other through the day, and show interest in
each other.
— Plan date nights. Schedule time together on
the calendar just as you would any other
important event in your life.
— Respect one another. Say “thank you,” and “I
appreciate…” It lets your partner know that they
matter.
Thank you for going through all that, I believe
you learned something. Use tips to solve the
problems you’ve been having.
Thanks to WebMD for the tips
#hub201
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